


Toto, I Have a Feeling We're Not in Kansas Anymore

by TheDumbestAvenger



Series: Whumptober 2020 [20]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Parker Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27118366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDumbestAvenger/pseuds/TheDumbestAvenger
Summary: Peter relives the worst moments of his lifeWhumptober ChallengePrompt - Nightmares
Relationships: Ben Parker & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Whumptober 2020 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946023
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Toto, I Have a Feeling We're Not in Kansas Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Day 20!
> 
> Sorry it's a little later than usual, busy morning. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> *Warnings*  
> Nightmares | Grief | Character Death

Peter sat in May’s apartment, a numb hole in the centre of his chest. He already knew what they were going to say. May sat next to him on the sofa, gently squeezing his hand in both of her’s, Ben crouched on the floor, both hand’s resting on Peter’s knees and tears in his eyes.

“We have some bad news, Peter,” Ben’s voice wavered as he spoke, clearly struggling to keep it together. “Your parents had an accident-” He dropped his chin as his voice cracked as he broke down into sobs.

May moved one of her hands from Peter’s to Ben’s shoulder, he shook his head quickly without looking up. She turned to face Peter, “They- They died, I’m so sorry.” Peter didn’t reply. He couldn’t stop his hands from trembling as he reached up to wipe his eyes. “Do you understand, honey?”

Peter nodded frantically, his breaths coming in too fast as the world collapsed around him. The hole in his chest grew.  _ Dead, they were dead. _

Ben took a deep breath, raking his teeth over his lip and looked up. His eyes were red and puffy. “I’m so sorry Pete,” he sobbed. “I- We’re going to look after you, okay?”

Peter looked around the apartment. Even with all its familiarity, it wasn’t home. Not in the way that his parent’s house was home, not in the way his father’s warm laugh or mother’s loving hug was home. He stumbled to his feet, unsteady and swaying.

Ben stood upright, his brow creased. “Peter?” He reached out to take Peter’s hand, but he flinched away from the touch. “I know it’s a shock, but-”

“No!” Peter cried, shoving Ben away. His chest heaved, nothing made sense. He lurched towards the door. “I-”

“Honey, wait!” May called, trying to catch up to him.

Peter slammed the door in her face and leaned back against it, trying to catch his breath. Space, he needed space. And fresh air. He dashed for the stairs and charged down, flinging open the door to outside. Cold air washed over him, the street almost completely pitch black. He ran blindly, tears obscuring his vision, scratching his bare feet on the uneven pavement with every step.

He slipped on something wet and sticky underfoot and landed back on his hands. When Peter lifted them, they were stained a deep, sickly red. Bile rose in the back of his throat as he pushed himself up, following the blood to the end of the street and around the corner.

A crowd of people stood huddled around something he couldn’t see, not yet. Peter staggered towards them, already knowing what would be there, praying for it to be something,  _ anything _ , else. Forcefully pushing through the crowd, his nightmare came true.

Ben lay on the ground, a small hole in the left side of his chest cascaded an impossible amount of blood onto the ground around him. The hole inside Peter’s chest grew bigger. “Ben-” he choked, drawing the half-lidded eyes of the man he’d come to see as a father.

“Pete…” Ben raised a shaky hand to Peter’s cheek, brushing his thumb lightly over his lips. He tried to speak again, but only a gargled, choking sound came out.

“I-I can’t understand you,” Peter sobbed, gripping onto Ben’s hand like his life depended on it. Maybe, if he could just hold on, he’d be able to save Ben this time.

Ben’s hand fell limp. Tears flooded Peter’s eyes as he moved Ben’s finger for him, mimicking the same movements. “Please,” he begged, “Not again. I can’t lose you again. Please…”

Sirens sounded, growing to a defining roar as their red and blue lights cut through the darkness. Peter tore his eyes from Ben’s body and saw two cops running his way, both angry looking. He backed away, slowly at first, before breaking into an all-out sprint as the cops followed his every move.

No matter how fast he ran, he couldn’t shake them. He knew he deserved to be caught, Ben’s death was his fault, but for some reason, he couldn’t stop running. Couldn’t face the consequence.

Peter skidded around a corner, and New York disappeared. It gave way to a vast crater filled with every shade of grey and brown imaginable. Bodies littered the floor, humans and aliens alike, their life dripping away into the dirt. With a glance over his shoulder that revealed the cops close on his tail, Peter slid down into the depths.

Rubble slowed his progress, as did the fight ensuing around him. A blinding flash of white obscured his vision, lingering for a few terrifying seconds before slowly fading away. In front of him, Tony fell to the ground, vainly trying to slow his descent using an upturned concrete slab. The hole in Peter’s chest grew bigger.

“Hey,” Peter ran closer, panting hard as he crumpled to his knees in front of Tony. “Mister Stark, can you hear me?” Half of Tony’s face was covered with burns from the stones. He reached out, taking Tony’s hand in his. “It’s Peter.”

Tony didn’t reply, he stared blankly ahead. Peter wasn’t sure if he wanted to speak, and couldn’t, or was too out of it to even know he was there. “You won, Mister Stark,” Peter whimpered, trying and failing to put on a brave face. “You did it, Sir. You did it. I’m sorry, Tony…”

The hole in his chest grew bigger, encompassing his entire body in a veil of numbness and pain and loss. Pepper pulled him away, and Peter’s tears returned tenfold. Nothing made sense. the Universe and all its cruel tricks that seemed determined to break Peter had finally succeeded. Finally stripped away enough pieces of his soul to reveal the scared, lost child underneath.

He couldn’t look at Tony as Pepper spoke to him.

_ “Peter?” _

Rhodey sobbed to himself, unable to look away.

_ “Peter!” _

Peter felt like he’d been thrust underwater. Everything around him happening in slow motion. The pain he carried finally becoming too much to bear.

_ “Come on, kid, I need you to wake up.” _

Peter shot upright, gasping for breath. He fought against his sweat-drenched sheets, struggling to free his limbs from their clawing grasp.

“Hey, hey,” Tony caught hold of Peter’s arms as he kicked the sheets to the end of his bed, keeping his grip gentle. “Breathe, kid. It’s me.”

Peter’s wide frantic eyes met Tony’s calm, creased ones. Slowly, he came to his senses, realising he sat safely in the New Avengers Compound with Tony perched on his bed, not in some crater that reeked of death. “Oh,” he breathed, “Mister Stark…”

“I’m here, kid,” Tony soothed, brushing sweat-dampened curls from Peter’s face. “You’re safe. It was just a dream.”

“Yeah,” Peter nodded slowly. “Just a dream.”

“You want to talk about it?” Peter shook his head furiously. “That’s okay, whatever you want. I’m going to hug you now.”

“Okay.” Peter leaned towards Tony as he shuffled closer and locked his arms around his back. He could heart Tony’s heartbeat, calm and steady. And alive. It might not have just been a dream, but at least Peter hadn’t lost everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Tony's fine, everyone. I repeat, Tony's FINE *struggles to hold back tears*


End file.
